Garland Bush & Dr. Jihad Saafir
Garland Bush & Dr. Jihad Saafir | Islah LA Muslim Community Members (Los Angeles, CA)
بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
Garland Bush: When I look at this photo with my husband, of 16* years, the first thing I notice is that I didn't get the memo to smile, which is hilarious to me, because people are always saying that I'm laughing. So I'm trying to figure out and remember what was going on in my head.
Umm, another thing I love about this photo is that it shows that even though you choose to live your life with someone, that you can maintain your individuality, and you can grow together, but still honor what makes you you within that marriage.
I also see, when looking at this photo, is that it captures an honesty about marriage. And that is that you're not always going to be on the same page. You're not always going to agree, and that life is going to bring you challenges, and it's just part of what you sign up for.
Dr. Jihad Saafir and Garland Bush speaking at the 2nd Annual National Muslim American Research Institute Advocating Marriage (M.A.R.I.A.M.) Conference at Masjidul Waritheen in Oakland, CA, 2017. Photographs by: Aïdah A. Rasheed
I know a lot of times we see these fairy tales on television or these fairy tales on social media about what marriage is all about. But at the end of the day, like, we are promised that we are going to have challenges individually. And so when you're in a marriage, those challenges just come together. And it's about how you work through it, you know. It's about how you practice reciprocity and kindness, or seek help when you need it, or acknowledge the mistakes you're going to make, and practice forgiveness and putting Allah first. Umm, I think that's the most important part of all of it. And then so, if all of these things can be practiced within my marriage, then I can say that I can willingly choose to be here.
So, al-Ḥamdu lillāh (all praises to G-d). This is my experience in marriage, and though it has its challenges, it's a beautiful thing, and I wouldn't make any other decision.
As-salaamu ʿalaykum [peace be upon you].
* This audio recording was shared with us last year. The couple has recently celebrated 17 years of marriage.
Garland Bush is currently the Vice Principal and Founding Member of the Islah Academy.
Dr. Jihad Saafir has a Bachelor’s degree in Arabic studies, Master of Arts in Islamic Studies and Leadership, and a Ph.D. in Practical Theology from Claremont School of Theology. He is the resident Imam and the Founding Executive Director for Islah Academy.
